HUSBAND: My wife and I were equating Football playbooks with our “for-play cards” (more on that later). I was explaining that the two teams are strategic in knowing their opponents. They have a game plan specific and have a set of plays ready to run on them to make their goal. Then it came to me I had been considering my wife and me to be on opposing teams. Wow, really? I know my wife is not the opposition she is my star receiver.
WIFE: Scarred from an affair in my first marriage, I started my second marriage with a plan to be a sexual fantasy girl for my husband. Because some of my motives were stemmed in insecurity, sex became a source of conflict. Part of the problem was, that in my pre-occupation with being hot and sexy: I never asked him what he wanted from me, and I had not really considered what I truly wanted from him.
The Matthew chapter 7 and James chapter 4 have something to say about asking, receiving, and giving.
Husband: Sex is the easy part…the hard part is catching her in the right mood. She tells me she wants to feel desired but my strategy hardly works (even when I do exactly what she says she wants).
Wife: My husband came up to me from behind and nibbled on my neck. Ok so I didn’t melt into his arms. I want him to pursue me, but mostly I experience his attempts as question marks and my default is “not now” or “”no”.
The book of James Chapter 4 and John 3: 36-37 clear up some misconceptions about how to pursue. Read more
Husband: You have to get undressed to have sex. (Ok not entirely true). What I would like to say is that when it comes to getting undressed I routinely rip my wife’s clothes off. You know, buttons fly off, cloth ripping, she gasps and falls helplessly across the bed… But in reality its more often like: moan, tug, nudge.
Wife: When I think about undressing, I think about our wedding night. To this day we both laugh remembering the crazy awkward way we undressed. I like the idea of undressing as part of foreplay; steamy, wild or even silly…but undressing has slipped quietly undercover.
The book of Hebrews Chapter 12 had something to say about stripping off encumbrances and the sins that entangle us: Read more